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Everything I am not: Discovering who I am

My research explores the decolonisation of the self by excavating what emerges when the black African woman works to transcend traumatic memory to renew and heal. I suggest that traumatic memory be likened to a scar or a wound on the body. I, a contemporary black South African woman, seek to heal fr...

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Main Author: Gubangxa, Sivenkosi
Other Authors: Kabwe, Beverly
Format: Thesis
Language:Eng
Published: Centre for Film and Media Studies 2024
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access_status_str Open Access
author Gubangxa, Sivenkosi
author2 Kabwe, Beverly
author_browse Gubangxa, Sivenkosi
Kabwe, Beverly
author_facet Kabwe, Beverly
Gubangxa, Sivenkosi
author_sort Gubangxa, Sivenkosi
collection Thesis
description My research explores the decolonisation of the self by excavating what emerges when the black African woman works to transcend traumatic memory to renew and heal. I suggest that traumatic memory be likened to a scar or a wound on the body. I, a contemporary black South African woman, seek to heal from the wound created by dominant structures of oppression such as slavery, colonialism, patriarchy, and apartheid. I am prompted by the work of black African feminist, Namanzi Choongo Mweene Chinyama (2017), as to how traumatic memory enters our consciousness to distort our understanding of self. I advocate for a process of decolonising which endeavours to break away from structures that inhibited black African women's liberation, denying them their cultural ideologies. Decolonising the self asks us to repossess, take back and re-imagine ourselves by invoking connections to ourselves, our bodies, our ancestors, the land, and others to cultivate inherent knowledge. I use my lived experience to demonstrate how the cultural apparatus of 19th-century racism is still actively created in South African society and globally today. Aspects of this apparatus are the negative stereotypical constructions and myths used to devalue and create ideas of inadequacy in black women to maintain dominance over them. I employ a black African feminist perspective as a framework which encourages placing black women's experiences at the centre of the inquiry. Using a mixed autoethnographic and Practice as Research (PaR) methodology, my research re- imagines representations of black African female experience in South Africa. Thus, it seeks to probe deeper into how implying certain subversions of authoritative hegemonic frames by disturbing accepted social categories and given constructs, creates alternative spaces for the assertion of black African women. I attempt to deconstruct, disturb, and reject normative categorisations to re-construct them, re-claiming, re-imagining, representing, re-discovering, re-shaping and re-membering in the present as a vital part of reclaiming the power of self- definition and healing. Keywords: Black African Women, Trauma, Healing, Decolonisation, Practice as Research, Autoethnography
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institution University of Cape Town (South Africa)
language Eng
last_indexed 2026-06-10T12:31:26.417Z
license_str Not specified — see source repository
provenance_str_mv Harvested via OAI-PMH from UCTD — University of Cape Town Open Access Repository
publishDate 2024
publishDateRange 2024
publishDateSort 2024
publisher Centre for Film and Media Studies
publisherStr Centre for Film and Media Studies
record_format dspace
source_str UCTD — University of Cape Town Open Access Repository
spelling oai:open.uct.ac.za:11427/39443 Everything I am not: Discovering who I am Gubangxa, Sivenkosi Kabwe, Beverly Fleishman Mark Film and media My research explores the decolonisation of the self by excavating what emerges when the black African woman works to transcend traumatic memory to renew and heal. I suggest that traumatic memory be likened to a scar or a wound on the body. I, a contemporary black South African woman, seek to heal from the wound created by dominant structures of oppression such as slavery, colonialism, patriarchy, and apartheid. I am prompted by the work of black African feminist, Namanzi Choongo Mweene Chinyama (2017), as to how traumatic memory enters our consciousness to distort our understanding of self. I advocate for a process of decolonising which endeavours to break away from structures that inhibited black African women's liberation, denying them their cultural ideologies. Decolonising the self asks us to repossess, take back and re-imagine ourselves by invoking connections to ourselves, our bodies, our ancestors, the land, and others to cultivate inherent knowledge. I use my lived experience to demonstrate how the cultural apparatus of 19th-century racism is still actively created in South African society and globally today. Aspects of this apparatus are the negative stereotypical constructions and myths used to devalue and create ideas of inadequacy in black women to maintain dominance over them. I employ a black African feminist perspective as a framework which encourages placing black women's experiences at the centre of the inquiry. Using a mixed autoethnographic and Practice as Research (PaR) methodology, my research re- imagines representations of black African female experience in South Africa. Thus, it seeks to probe deeper into how implying certain subversions of authoritative hegemonic frames by disturbing accepted social categories and given constructs, creates alternative spaces for the assertion of black African women. I attempt to deconstruct, disturb, and reject normative categorisations to re-construct them, re-claiming, re-imagining, representing, re-discovering, re-shaping and re-membering in the present as a vital part of reclaiming the power of self- definition and healing. Keywords: Black African Women, Trauma, Healing, Decolonisation, Practice as Research, Autoethnography 2024-04-25T12:21:21Z 2024-04-25T12:21:21Z 2023 2024-04-24T13:19:20Z Thesis / Dissertation Masters http://hdl.handle.net/11427/39443 Eng application/pdf Centre for Film and Media Studies Faculty of Humanities
spellingShingle Film and media
Gubangxa, Sivenkosi
Everything I am not: Discovering who I am
thesis_degree_str Master's
title Everything I am not: Discovering who I am
title_full Everything I am not: Discovering who I am
title_fullStr Everything I am not: Discovering who I am
title_full_unstemmed Everything I am not: Discovering who I am
title_short Everything I am not: Discovering who I am
title_sort everything i am not discovering who i am
topic Film and media
url http://hdl.handle.net/11427/39443
work_keys_str_mv AT gubangxasivenkosi everythingiamnotdiscoveringwhoiam